M&M’s: Pandemic Essentials

July 26, 2020July 26, 2020 Sally-Jane Heit2 Comments

Dear Friends and Family,

I really don’t get the hullabaloo concerning masks. If I understood that if I didn’t wear a mask I would be affecting and infecting not only myself but friends, relatives and neighbors and I couldn’t go shopping or walking about, why would I even give it a second thought? I would say to myself right out, “Put the mask on, jerkball!!”

Of course, if I didn’t believe that people had been and were continuing to be deathly ill and dying and dead from Covid 19 and that it was nothing but a political manipulation by “The Enemy”, (and will someone please tell me what the enemy looks like so I can be prepared?), I might think differently. But please tell me, what human in the universe has not heard of or know someone who has contracted the virus. If you are someone who is that someone (talk about isolation!) please tell me where is your desert island and aren’t you just a little bit lonely?

Below is a very simple demonstration of why the mask is essential to your and everyone else’s health.

If anyone is still skeptical after that video, which is as apolitical as it gets, then all I want to say to you is, “Don’t be a jerkball. I don’t care who you vote for but I do care that you LIVE. Got it! Get it! Good!”

And now let me give you a slice of hope and happiness as an antidote to those the little germs from the previous video. I think it is interesting how even in social distancing (and such distances in this video… around the world and back), these wonderful people obviously use their creative juices to give themselves and others joy and beauty.

I firmly believe, as others tear at the fabric of civility in whatever is left of this civilization, this is the kind of enterprise that is destined to keep us together.

Right? Of course, right!

Love, Sally-Jane

P.S. And whatever you think or do or say, never lose your sense of humor. Survival isn’t possible without one. Thus spake the Oracle (and my cousin Bernie).

There are all kinds of masks…

And there is all kinds of music…

TESTING IS NOT ONLY FOR THE VIRUS

July 19, 2020 Sally-Jane Heit4 Comments

My Dear Friends and Family,

In life and circumstances you make and lose friends just like in marriages and other kinds of relationships we lose partners because one or the other changed… grew in different directions… moved apart… (I’ve even heard of divorced partners who were better friends after the marriage ended than before…no comment!) But testing a friendship just didn’t seem necessary because in friendship as in life there is an almost natural flow or evolution of the personalities involved as they navigate life.

The pandemic has changed all that. Who we are and the decisions we make in and around Covid 19 has created havoc with relationships ie, friendships.

In the past, I liked it when my friends agreed with me. However, you didn’t have to. I would say, “Hey, honey, let’s just agree to disagree.” And believe me, as Ms. Judgemental , this always made me feel super virtuous.

Not so today. If you think the virus is not real, or masks or safe distancing is a joke, you are not going to take the necessary steps for safety and healthy living. Right away we have a problem. I was going to write I have a problem. But the pronoun we is the appropriate one.

How can we be with each other, or even talk to each other, if we don’t agree on the basic steps for survival. It feels like being a Jew in Germany 1929, 1930, 1931, 1932, 1933… it’s time to leave… the handwriting is on the wall…. How long do you have to wait until you know for sure, if you stay, you are not going to survive? I recognize that hindsight creates 20/20 vision but I think it is through hindsight we can maybe get just a glimmer of foresight.

I have finally earned enough years on this planet to understand how basically we are all the same, but how in detail we are all so different. I want to be able to say with a full and open heart, “I respect your decision”. On a most bizarre level I do. Which, for me, means I love you but dare I say it… KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.

At a time when age itself seems to limit the number of my friendships, I really resent this pandemic for adding another painful reality to an already complicated existence.

I’m not alone in my thinking…. Friends Are Breaking Up Over Social Distancing (The Atlantic)

And another tree (aka friendship), falls in the forest….

I know this much. I am nothing without my friends and I am sad when I lose one by the appearance of that hooded figure with the scythe or by changes in our life values and circumstances or for reasons even a nitpicker like me does not understand. And as the years pass each loss becomes more difficult and harder to absorb into my life.

All to say to the friends that I have, “Play nice. Wear a mask. Wash your hands. Sanitize as you go. Safe distance or no ice cream and cookies!!”

Right??? Of course, right!!!

Love, Sally-Jane

P.S. This is exactly how I feel:

P.P.S. Here are Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers telling it like it is.

P.P.P.S. Happy Birthday to a loving friend who knows how to play nice.

The Pandemic Pause

July 12, 2020 Sally-Jane Heit4 Comments

My Dear Friends,

Of late, a lethargy of sorts has infused my being. I, who explore and investigate the minutiae of my life… ”Why does that damn house mosquito keep attacking the same spot on my neck?”…

These kinds of psychological and philosophical meandering alert me to an important change in my life. Initially that change was so gradual I didn’t notice it. But now as I begin my day I am noticing there is, for lack of a better word, a hesitation, a pause before deciding what I should do next. As I was writing a text of apology to a friend, all was revealed…

I am curious enough to ask, is anyone else experiencing life in the waiting lane?

Sorry it has taken this long to respond to your text. And if you think I can find a good enough reason for the delay other then pandemic pause which is another name for mind and time wandering please think again. I am finally actually living my favorite play. Waiting For Godot. I have always loved that play because these two characters meet to spend the whole of the play waiting. And I find that is what I’m doing on a daily basis. WAITING….
Please don’t ask me for what. My understanding in the play is that they are waiting for God or death or both in various philosophical as well as physical situations. I think I love the play so much because I think on some level that’s my take on life. Not as a nihilist, but rather… ain’t that where life leads us all anyway?
Look what at what I just did. I simply wanted to apologize and say hello and the above kind of mind-wandering is the definition of my pandemic pause

Right? Of Course, right!!

❤️ Love ~ Sally-Jane

P.S. Well! There are some of us who know what to do with our time…

A Stew Full of Thoughts

July 2, 2020July 2, 2020 Sally-Jane Heit3 Comments

My Dear Friends,

THOUGHT 1: Yet another fallout of the Pandemic…

Every time I think I have a handle on how to handle the world I and fellow beings presently inhabit, I lose the handle. Why can’t I keep a steady hand on the wheel of my life? I know the rules of safety. I try my best to follow them… Social distancing, masking, hand washing, sanitizing, travel limits.

I am kidding you and myself because, of course I know why I can’t keep it steady. I am not in control.

I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. I know the feeling well because I have been there many times before.

I think I am being vigilant. But then, I watch others out of my control, threaten themselves and others with their choices. It then becomes my responsibility to set limits and put out the no vacancy sign. It is so alien to the nature of this here beast.

My door has always been open. In the world today that is not an option. I can make some adjustments. And for this I am so very grateful that I am able to set up for a meal in the garden or the porch with safe spacing, masks and whatever else is necessary for the safety of all.

THOUGHT 2: A review of The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson

I did not know the depth and the extent of the migration of Black Americans from the South to the North and to the West from 1915 – 1970. For me, Ms. Wilkerson’s narrative is the foretelling of the ongoing struggle for Black equality we are experiencing at this time. She has chosen three protagonists from three different locations in three different decades of the migration. Their detailed journey from the white racism of the South that followed them to the white racism of the North and West is shocking and a necessary and important tool in understanding how racism, subtle and not so subtle works.

At the end of the book Ms. Wilkerson writes some notes about her methodology in putting this brilliant study together. She quotes from a 672 page report by a white-led Commission on the Chicago Riots of 1919 wherein the commission admonishes all.

THIS MUST CHANGE!

It is important for our white citizens always to remember that the Negroes alone of all our immigrants came to America against their will by the special compelling invitation of the whites; that the institution of slavery wast introduced, expanded and maintained by the United States by the white people and for their own benefit; and they likewise created the conditions that followed emancipation.
Our Negro problem, therefore, is not of the Negro’s making. No group in our population is less responsible for its existence. But every group is responsible for its continuance… Both races need to understand that their rights and duties are mutual and equal and their interests in the common good are identical… There is no help or healing in appraising past responsibilities or in present apportioning of praise or blame. The past is of value only as it aids in understanding the present; an understanding of the facts of the problem — a magnanimous understanding by both races — is the first step toward a solution.
Excerpt, The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson, page 543

The report came out in 1922. Last time I checked my calendar it was 2020.

THOUGHT 3: IF YOU’RE NOT IN THE OBIT, EAT BREAKFAST

There is no way that I am going to leave you without a smile on your face and a laugh in your heart. Even though my go-to cheerleader, Carl Reiner, left for quieter climes.